Stupid Links WillItMakeIt Still Runs Disreputable Mechanics Tucker Max Stuff On My Cat Stupid Videos Totally Stupid Stupid Signs My Computer Is Wasted College Humor Kale Co Auto Frank Caliendo Mail Poop Wrestle Crap Insane Pictures Darwin Awards Something Aweful Funny Post Card Funny Junk Funny Pop The Onion E Baums World Holy Lemon Funnyville Cool Funny Jokes Funny Times Extreme Funny Humor Insane Clips Kill Some Time Mucho Sucko Bo Funk Engrish Despair HOME

 

JESUS and ELVIS - Coincidence or Cosmic Plan?

JESUS is the Lord's shepherd. ELVIS dated Cybil Shepherd. JESUS was a carpenter. ELVIS' favorite high school class was wood shop. JESUS was the lamb of God. ELVIS had mutton chop sideburns. JESUS' Father is everywhere. ELVIS' father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit. JESUS was part of the Trinity. ELVIS' very first band was a trio. JESUS said: "Love thy neighbor." (Matthew 22:39) ELVIS said: "Don't be cruel." (RCA 1956) JESUS walked on water. (Matthew 14:25) ELVIS surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount:1965) JESUS' entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members. ELVIS' entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members. JESUS was first and foremost the Son of God. ELVIS first recorded with Sun Studios, performing what are still considered to be his foremost recordings. JESUS said, "If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink." (John 7:37) ELVIS said, "Drinks on me!" (Jailhouse Rock, MGM:1957) "JESUS' countenance was like lightning, and his raiment white as snow." (Matthew 28:3) ELVIS wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts. JESUS fasted for 40 days and nights. ELVIS had irregular eating habits. (eg: 5 banana splits for breakfast) JESUS said: "Man shall not live by bread alone." ELVIS liked his bread with peanut butter and bananas. Matthew was one of JESUS' many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew) Neil Matthews was one of ELVIS' many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute) Mary, an important woman in JESUS' life, had an Immaculate Conception. Priscilla, an important woman in ELVIS' life, attended Immaculate Conception High School. JESUS H. CHRIST has 12 letters. ELVIS PRESLEY has 12 letters. No one knows what the "H" in "JESUS H. Christ" stood for. No one was really sure if ELVIS' middle name was "Aron" or "Aaron". JESUS wore a crown of thorns. ELVIS wore Royal Crown hair styler. JESUS had his famous Resurrection. ELVIS had the famous 1968 "comeback" TV special. JESUS lived in a state of grace, in a Near Eastern land. ELVIS lived in Graceland, in a nearly eastern state. BUT WAIT - THERE'S MORE! The letters in ELVIS also spell: "Lives", "Evils", and "Viles". The letters in JESUS don't spell much of anything else. But then, neither do the letters in PRESLEY. However, JESUS CHRIST does transmogrify to: "Chess Jurist", "Rich Justess" (close enough), "Sterjc Sushi" (Czech fingerfood), "Such Sister J" (a possible `friend' of Elvis??), and "Such jest, Sir!" Further, ELVIS PRESLEY will also spell: "Less Vile Prey", "Silly Vespere", "Peerless Vily", and "Riply's Sleeve" (Believe It or Not!) Moreover, "Christmas" has the same number of letters as "Graceland". And the three letters shared in common, spell both "arc" and "car". Lastly - and this is an Internet Exclusive - JESUS and ELVIS were never both seen in the same place at the same time. It is left to the Reader to make the obvious connection.



Submit Your Own Stupid Joke!

 

Idiot of the Month Babe of the day
Submit a babe of the day Great Moments In Science Mental Soup Computer Stupidities Deep Thoughts Jet Powered Beer Cooler Jim Florentine Brad Christensen Exhibit