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Murder at Safeway
Tired of being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage,
a young husband decides to solve both problems by
taking out a large insurance policy on his wife, with
himself as beneficiary, and arranging to have her
killed. A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a
nefarious underworld figure that went by the name of
"Artie." Artie explained to the husband that his going
price for snuffing out a spouse was $5,000.
The husband said he was willing to pay that amount but
he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could
collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on
being paid something up front. The man opened up his
wallet, displaying a single dollar bill that rested
inside. Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly
agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the
dirty deed.
A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife into
the local Safeway grocery store. There he surprised
her in the produce department and proceeded to
strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor
unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to
the floor, the manager of the produce department
stumbled onto the scene. Unwilling to leave any
witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but to strangle
the produce manager as well.
Unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings was captured
by hidden cameras and observed by the store's security
guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was
caught and arrested before he could leave the store.
Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie
revealed the sordid plan, including his financial
arrangements with the hapless husband.
And that is why the next day in the newspaper, the
headlines declared:
"ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A DOLLAR AT SAFEWAY"
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